The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially go to these guys in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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