The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay males wish to discover out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there a fantastic read for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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